we all know sammi has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That's what SHE said!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Samraj.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops