Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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giddy goat

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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...............................................................hi

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops