What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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