you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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A man goes to the movies with his wife, two hours later they drive home and find their house just the way they left it.

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops