Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Safe sex MR

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Rebecca Black starts to sing a song, and when breaking out into her annoying chorus, we realize that it's not about the days of the week.

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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woman's rights

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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what do you call a baby rapest jordan gregg

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops