An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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