Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

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A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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