What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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?J?o?k?e?

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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