how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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