A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

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a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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Why? Why Not?

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops