Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There is a mountain and there are three men, One is asian and the two others are black and white. "This is for my people!" Said the asian man when he was falling for his death. "This is for my people!" Yelled the african american. Then he takes the American man and throws him off the mountain

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

hey, my names mark.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

thumb_up thumb_down -18

LET

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey! Where is my tracker?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops