How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops