Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

thumb_up thumb_down +7

do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

thumb_up thumb_down +5

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bumsniffer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops