How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

You and your parents are going to die today

What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

A black man walks into a store with a gun. He is a policeman bringing in a murder weapon as part of his investigation.

a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

i have a christmas tree.

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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