Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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JUST KIDDING^

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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A horse walks into a bar... just kidding the doors were to smal.l

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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