Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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