Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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