What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a anti-joke on this website? Type it out, click I have read and agree to the Terms of Service, then press submit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Oh...okay, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black guy eat KFC? Cause he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the computer crash? it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops