What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Republicans

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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thomas!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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