What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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NEVER

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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