- Anti Joke

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. The day came again next year and his Dad said "15 years old son! Your growing up rather fast aren't you? Soon you'll be seeing girls, going to parties, turning the Prime Minister's invitation to dinner and instead sneaking out of the house and going to a strip club where all the girls are in a glass cube and you just through food at them and watch them eat it....", his son stared at him. "But what do you want son?". His son ran a hand through his short hair, "Dad, can I have a semi-trailer full of Pink Ping Pong balls?" His dad, now rather worried about his obsession asked "Of course but why?" And his son once again replied "I'll tell you when I get them". His dad obliged and bought his son a semi trailer full of Pink Ping Pong balls and then asked "Now so, you promised to tell me, why?". His son opened the door to the truck trailer and inspected his produce "...next year dad, next year". His dad paused, shrugged, then walked away. As his son neared his 16th birthday his father again asked him, "son, what'll it be this time?". His son replied "uuuummm, a car?", His dad was about to agree when his son said, "actually no. I would like a 747 Boeing Jet full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad stared at him. This was getting weirder and weirder and more costly. His father then remembered the last time he looked at his bank account he had stopped counting at 10th zero, and so he agreed that for his sons 16th birthday he'd get a 747 Boeing Jet full of Pink Ping Pong balls. They both watched the giant jet land, and his dad asked "why son?" and his son looked at the jet, then down at the ground, then up at his father "next year dad". His dad having gotten used to this response turned and walked back to his limo. On the boys 17th birthday eve his dad loyally asked him "17 son, your nearly a man, what do you want?" His dad didn't flinch when his son replied "....a shipment of Pink Ping Pong balls". His Dad dismissed the cost of such a thing, they were imported that way anyway. As they both stood upon the wharf and watched the enormous tanker dock, smelling the sea breeze and the barge fumes, and father looked at him and his son replied knowingly "when I'm 18 dad". And so a year later it was nearly the boy, well adult's, 18th birthday. His father said to him "okay son, I've done you the honour in buying you your very first car! Actually there's several, I got you a Bugatti Veyron, Lamborghini Reventon, a customised McLaren F1 that can go underwater, a - " "Actually dad", his son interrupted, "I want 10 warehouses full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad stopped, "Okay son, for you. But I'm still giving you the cars". The son and his Dad both shook hands on it and sure enough the 18 year old boy had his gigantic series of hanger, full of Pink Ping Pong balls. Roughly 4 months after his 18th birthday, his son was driving one of his cars his father had bought him. After driving at speeds in excess of 350km/h he had skidded out of control, rolled the car and ended up being transported by helicopter to the emergency ward. He was critically injured and lay in his hospital bed, attached to many machines, monitors and medications. His father was right by his side, and when awoke he groggily said to his Dad, "Dad, I'm dying", his Dad replied "NO your NOT son, your stronger, your stronger..". "I ask one thing of you before I die" his son said. His father nodded "anything". "I want....one Pink...Ping Pong ball...". His father looked at him long and hard, " I will get it, but you have to promise me, as you have over all these years, why Pink Ping Pong balls." His son nodded weakly. And so his father left and returned with, as he promised, one Pink Ping Pong ball. He knelt next to his son and gently wakened him, "son, here it is" and he put the ball into his son's hand. "Now son, tell me, why Pink Ping Pong balls?". He son licked his lips and said "Well Dad," and then he died.

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

The black man leaves the strip club.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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