What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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