How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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69

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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