Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

A man makes a sandwich.

Pineapple.

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

A man killed himself.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

Funny names Alec Balls Isaac Balls Dick Hedd Willy lickerr Lydia Stick Gaylord Sugar Fanny Gouger

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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