Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

thumb_up thumb_down -10

69

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse than jonny james obviously

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Top Gear USA

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops