If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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Adele walks into the stables

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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