hi bye

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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Mullets

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops