Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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hi bye

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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What do you get when you cross the color pink and pie? A penis ate the answer.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Mullets

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops