What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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What is the difference between a black man and a pepperoni pizza? One can actually feed a family of 4.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops