What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Why did Colussi miss school for 2 years? -Because he died

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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69 :)

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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