Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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women's rights

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops