Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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No, what you are saying, is that you have lost hope, one of the fundamental rules in creating such a society, is becoming the kind of person, in our case a man that has a notion of free will, the willpower to follow his own vision, the kind of man with a ideology so strong that it defies the rules imposed upon us by society. Then, you do neither go around breaking said rules, nor as you do, seek out people. No, if your ideology is better, stronger and greater than what society has imposed upon us since birth, then those we consider the strong, will seek people like us. You know the basics, humans as a whole are "monkey see monkey do", but for me at least, people of true value, do not follow others, but their own belief, values concepts of life and whatnot, this is the reason I from time to time come here and "Humiliate myself", people hate my guts, I know it, acknowledge it, until it fazes me no more, then every so often a few people like it. And there you got the core of what you are conveying, individuality based on self respect and respect for others, those people that sought people like me, had this value down at heart. Again that is not something you can teach others, how to think for themselves, no. You know how it is, we live in a society where people that love themselves and respect their own work are looked down upon by others, until many decide it is not worth the effort. And if that is what society has created, then you going around promising others a better lifestyle trough following their "heart", is just going to either have them abuse you, or worse, worship you. If you succeed at having people see you as a goddamn God, then it only takes a fucking generation, your fucking lifetime, before someone takes over, starts passing on drugs or alcohol, and claiming you where a God, and then you wasted your whole life into conveying something greater, but ended up creating what people like us hate, a religion indoctrination that destroys the human part that is able to think for itself and respect its own decisions. The problem with free will, is that you can also freely surrender it, and when the so called "greatest nation on the world" are war "in the name of God" against Satan, while the other is fighting for Allah, against, SHATAM... Then it should not take much more than a monkey to figure out humanity is simply fighting one another, in this case probably over a fucking translation error. And if this is what the world most powerful nation can offer, while their elitism assures that politicians live as kings, while the people suffer, all while "Gods nation" cannot even win a war over what is considered "camels and stones" Then you should know that there is still much hope, that people such as us can start even the smallest spark, of a better society, and that people will seek us out. But our kind cannot be made, only unmade, it is easy to surrender one`s personal values and become someone else. And when you claim to be me, and spread your weird values on a fucking anti-joke side on the worlds most broken site, then what is really left of you? And if you cannot stand against the tide, then what different is what you convey, that to what the mainstream media, politicians and religion spread? Moral: Get ready for a load of thumbs downs, people most have surrendered their values and free will, its hard to stand against the tide, but as long as people such as I and hopefully you stand strong, even if in seclusion, then we only need to ignite the spark in our equals in order to succeed, and we might be few, but together and as individuals strong, we can never truly be defeated.

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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