What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

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whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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