i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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you and your family will die tonight

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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