A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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whats worse than gill? nothing

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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