What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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This is not a joke

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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