Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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nice tits.

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp? He didn't he was caught and put in the gas chamber.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops