Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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this is not a drill.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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There's two Cherys in a bath one chery asks the other one to pass the soap the other chery said what do I look like, a typewriter?

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A man sat on a chair

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops