your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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children of those parents which are childless, are often childless too...

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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