How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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homosexuals are gay

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Z.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops