Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Andy Carrol

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Nothing... (The game.)

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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