How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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