Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call two black men and a hispanic man in the back of a car? The punchline of this joke is offensive, and might bring legal troubles to Anti-Joke.Com and it's subsidiaries. For these reasons, Anti-Joke.Com will not allow it to be shown.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops