What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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British Dentistry

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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