- Anti Joke

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

its snowing on mount fuji

there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

Your all fags

the WNBA

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.