Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

What's 9 + 10 19

Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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