What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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why was the boy crying. Brcause him and his two sisters got raped by a diseased polar bear. by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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elen degeneres is straight....

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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general tso's broccoli

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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Knock Knock Come in.

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops