A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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