(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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GADZOOKS!

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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what do u call a apple a apple

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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