Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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