My children are huge mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

GADZOOKS!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Get off my porch.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Row, row, row your... Canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops