When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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Asians

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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