A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

What can fly? Lots of things

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

Women Sports.

What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

balls

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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