A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'My name is Boo, I'm sorry,I think I was given the wrong address, I'll be on my way now' Boo walks away from the unsuspecting person's front door and goes to the next house along in the hope of finding the house he was originally searching for.

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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whos district champs not JM

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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whats worse than gill? nothing

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you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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