How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

thumb_up thumb_down -17

xavier stop

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops