What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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9

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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